Forgiveness starts with oneself. It's never about forgiving the other. It's about forgiving me.
How are you doing? Not as in Joey from Friends “how you doin’?”, but REEEALLY doing?
When you’re not being a leader, parent, partner, doctor, nurse, role model, team member, trainer, performer, interviewee, …
8 minutes, 46 seconds of silence followed by chants of ‘I can’t breathe’ by 25,000 people for George Floyd in Munich yesterday. Emotions, tears, love, compassion, empathy, and education by the stories shared on stage by black women and men of all ages. Anger, shame, awakening and action. At last. Over four centuries late. I, as hopefully many, have been shocked out of my numbness and silence this past week. Until then, I hid behind my safety blanket of not being racist. Not having known what to do about the blatantly obvious racism existing over the world is not an excuse. I have been aware of my white privilege for as long as I can remember even if I couldn’t put it into words until the last few years. I have lived and either studied or worked in America, France, and England ffs. Of course, I have witnessed racism. Anyone stating the contrary needs to wake up, look around, eat a massive slice of humble pie, and educate themselves. It is embarrassing, shameful. I am deeply ashamed. Initially, I thought best to keep silent and leave the platforms open for black voices to be heard. That is still the priority. I also didn’t know what to say, how to express how I felt, and was scared to offend or cause hurt by how I say things. However, if there is one thing that I have already learned this past week, it is that staying silent, comforted by my personal knowledge that I am not racist, is hypocritical. How on earth is that any help to anyone? And how dare I hide behind my discomfort of addressing all this because I may find it uncomfortable and fear saying the wrong thing? That there again, is white privilege. How will I learn if I don’t ask and open the conversation? I want to be told if I say something offensive to anyone, and even more so if I say something racist or act in such a way. I have also learned the notion of not being racist vs. being actively anti-racist and am whole-heartedly embracing it. I understand that I do not understand. That I never fully will. I vow to keep educating myself and take on my part of responsibility in evoking change and doing better. I vow to speak up and raise awareness. Let this only be the beginning. “ No one is born hating another person because of the color of their skin, or their background, or their religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite .” Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom
As a leader, are you aiming to be the Head Coach or the Star Player? Beware of the difference. Many a manager leads with their ego and confuses themselves as the Star Player wanting to stand in the spotlight when showtime comes, leaving their team in the shadows - when it should be the other way around.
A year of saying No – to the corporate world (which had been a long time coming), to denying my true purpose and passion, to emotional blockages. A year of saying Yes – to new beginnings and growth, to self-love, self-care and self-belief, to clarity and to setting up roots. A year of challenges and in the end, the realization that I no longer could, nor would, deny myself my passion of being of assistance to others. Upon leaving the corporate world for various reasons, I embarked on a journey to become a life coach, not fully understanding nor realizing what that would entail. What I did know, however, was that I wanted to help others gain clarity in their life to find happiness and fulfillment and live their life fully. That I wanted to use my people skills, emotional intelligence and empathy, and my own eclectic story to inspire others to believe that they can pursue their dreams, help them find their voice and empower them. I was already doing this to a certain extent on the side through massage and yoga, but something bigger was missing. By enrolling with the Co-Active Training Institute , my life was transformed. I had no idea how profound my personal breakthroughs would be which consequently opened the path to going for that one remaining, huge item that had been on my bucket list for 10 years – that of being an entrepreneur and being of use to others. I learned to clearly define my values, to put into words my life purpose and have a life vision, to gain perspective, to say no to my self-sabotaging voices and saying yes to my empowering ones, to find balance in everyday life and all aspects of life, to be fully connected and present at all times (well, my yoga journey had already massively influenced that part tbh), to process and embrace emotions, to recognize and break down blockages, and in the end, to believe that I really can do anything and everything I set my heart on - all the while being my fully authentic self. Now that I know how powerful and magical coaching is, I honestly wish I had had a coach to accompany me on my journey which started 15 years ago when I asked myself for the first time “What does happiness mean to me?”. I might have been quicker in getting to the next question which also took a while: “How do I create it?”! 😉The answer, I now know, is an ever-evolving one which is the beauty of life. Although I finished my training a month ago, I wanted to take the time to let it all sink in and finalize setting up my own business (!!!! Yikes!!!) before I told the world about it. On this last day of the year and decade, however, I am ready to share this monumental change in me and my life and to look 2020 straight in the eye with excitement, belief, and incredibly positive energy. A new chapter lies ahead, one that I am excited to start writing and share with as many people as possible. More on that to come soon… 😊 M y biggest YES this year? A German saying puts it nicely - which translates to “Jumping over my shadow” - and diving into the deep end into an unknown world with the notion of “What’s the worst that could happen?!” Actually, let's flip that: "What's the best that could happen?!" So, here’s to a new decade full of possibilities and opportunities! I wish you a happy, healthy, prosperous and fully connected new year with purpose, drive and a lot of (self-) love. Last but not least, a tremendous thank you to my inspiring CTI coaching trainers and fellow students on this journey, I’m grateful to have been able to share this transformational ride with you! Originally written and posted 31 December 2019